Tag: life

Stuck

Life is a very interesting experience to say the least. We make plans, we establish relationships, and we pursue careers. Each one of us at some time constructs in our minds a future which we desire. Initially we base our future on ideals and dreams. We watch others in the world around us and determine the pieces which we desire for ourselves. Then it comes to the point where we launch ourselves toward the life we have determined is the best for us. Time is spent taking steps to shape and mold that future. Everything is in motion but suddenly life happens, a piece of our ideal future falls apart or something outside of our control happens unexpectedly. Our path is altered.

The challenge which is then set before us is how are we going to respond to this unforeseen reality? Most often, a person adjusts and redetermines the desired future. Depending on what life has brought to the individual, there may be a major shift in the path or there may only need to be small adjustments. The most important point is to continue to move toward a re-imagined future.

Unfortunately, some people are unable to make adjustments. They choose to hold on to what was their plan. With great determination, they remain where they are in life and do not continue to go forward. This type of reaction produces an individual who is stuck in the past. The world around them steps each day into the future while they remain steadfast. When the person realizes that they are being left behind, there is often resentment and anger. This can lead to them lashing out at others. They have a sense that they have lost control. There is a strong possibility of becoming fearful.

I imagine an old film which is on continuous loop. The person strives to hold on to people and situations which were a part of their envisioned future. They refuse to move on with life. The scenes play over and over in their minds but each loop becomes less and less. Over time, like old film, the edges begin to fray and the film begins to melt. Life becomes something to hate instead of something in which to find joy.

Life moves forward, whether we give it permission to or not. Our future becomes reality either with our participation or our absence. Being unable to move forward equates to a slow and unpleasant deterioration of life.

If you know someone who is unable to adjust to life’s altercations, be that nudge who gets them unstuck. If you are someone who is struggling to move past an unexpected change in your life plan, find a friend who can assist you in becoming unstuck.

Battery Recharge

As we are approaching a holiday weekend, I began thinking about how people re-energize themselves. I have discovered that each person is unique regarding how they approach refilling their life batteries. The one thing which we all have in common is the need to recharge. We were not created to go at full speed seven days a week. While this has not prevented some individuals from attempting this rate of activity, I am not aware of anyone who has been successful at achieving this goal.

My quest for recharging my life batteries has led me to discover these realities:

  • The method of recharging has changed over time.
  • I require various combinations of methods most of the time.
  • I like to combine alone time and time spent with others.
  • I enjoy quiet times and stimulating times.
  • I regularly need some form of physical activity but also need time to be at rest.

As you can see, there is no one set way for me to recharge. The way in which I accomplish this necessary task is dependent on my current mood, what I have been engaged in recently, and what might be available at the time. The issue is not what is necessary for a person to recharge; the issue is whether a person takes the time to recharge or not.

A recharging must occur on three different levels. The first level is a physical recharging. An individual must pay attention to the body to determine when the body is in need of rest, rejuvenation, and gaining of strength. Our bodies are like a machine that will wear out if we attempt to push it too hard for too long.

The second level of recharging is a mental recharging. Like the muscles and organs of our bodies, our psyche must be given the opportunity to unwind and release. This may require watching a television show which has a lower demand on our mental skills. Some individuals have found that coloring a picture provides that opportunity to let their thoughts go into a lower gear. For me, working on a jigsaw puzzle is a great way to mentally recharge.

The third level of recharging is spiritually recharging. Our spirits need to be allowed to recapture energy. I am one who uses time outdoors to do this most often. Walking is my favorite spiritual recharge method. Seeing creation, especially on a sunny day or along a body of water, reminds me that I am part of something much larger. The beauty fills my spirit with joy and energy.

What are your methods for recharging your life batteries? Are you doing a good job of making sure this happens regularly? How might you improve in this area?

Flying Minutes

What? It is June already? You have to be kidding. I remember celebrating New Year’s Eve just a few short weeks ago. Okay, maybe more than a few weeks ago but it does not seem like it should be the middle of the year already. Time is flying by at a record pace any more.

I remember my parents having similar conversations. When I was living at home, I could not understand how they could even think that time was going so fast. To me time appeared to be often going at a snail’s pace. I could not wait to get to high school. I eagerly anticipated getting my driver’s license. Of course, moving away from home and getting my own life could not happen fast enough. But alas, time moved so slow for me at that point.

Naturally, time does not speed up or slow down at all. Time is one of the consistent threads through life. Each second, each minute, each hour, all move at the same pace throughout the months and years. Time does not change. What changes is my perspective of time.

I am not completely sure why perspective changes as a person gets older in this situation. Maybe it is due to having more to reflect upon than to look forward. Or it might be due to the fact that as we age, our focus becomes less on us and more on those in our lives. Whatever the reason, time is seen much differently as a person gains years.

So enjoy life. Celebrate each day. Live to your fullest.

Impact of Technology

Sitting at a computer and writing for my two blogs is part of my weekly life. Not a day goes by when I do not have some time using my laptop. I read the daily paper, interact on social media sites, have conversations through email, and do my planning on this piece of technology. If I am not doing these activities on my computer, I am using my smart phone or my tablet to do them. Besides these forms of technology, I have a smart watch which not only tells me the time but also can receive phone calls, give me notifications from social media and email accounts, keep track of my steps, and remind me when I have been sitting too long (among a list of other capabilities). Add my Amazon Echo in my technology list and you can include listening to music, being reminded of calendar items, setting timers, and getting the weather report among skills at my disposal. My point is that technology permeates every aspect of my life, and I would venture a guess that is true for you as well. After all technology is allowing you to read this blog post.

As strange as it may seem, I can easily recall a time when none of this was a part of my life. I grew up and did not even have a microwave in my house. The technology of my youth included a television, a radio, and a CB radio. I was so excited when during my senior year of high school, I was gifted an Atari. (For those too young to know what any of these items are, talk to someone who is at least 50 years old.) In school, we had one computer for the whole school and was actually not even a computer in the building. The mainframe of the computer was located at the Area Education Association office and through telephone lines there was a workstation that had a keyboard and white/green continuous feeding paper. All the communication was typed and printed out on the paper, no monitors. In less than thirty years, all this has drastically changed.

The question that haunts us is, has this change been for the better?

Spend some time on Google (made possible through technology) and you can find articles stating that technology has improved our lives and you can find articles arguing the opposite. In one article on the six ways technology has made our lives easier, one author states:

From accessing massive amounts of information on the internet to simply experiencing an enriched personal lifestyle, technology continues to benefit us day in, day out. It is undoubtedly true that technology is an important part of our daily lives.

James McArthur, Engadet

He goes on to show how communication has improved, advertising is easier, travel has been enhanced, lost items can be located, learning is easier, and handling data is improved. In the article’s conclusion, the author states that life is more flexible due to technology.

Lou Frenzel wrote an article last July which takes the opposite view of technology. While he acknowledges that initially he had viewed the increase of technology as a positive, some very concerning negative impacts have become clear.

Well, there’s growing evidence that some technology is bad for us. Technology has changed us in numerous ways over the last few years, and many of these changes are not so positive.

Lou Frenzel, Electronic Design

The concerns which he lists in the article are distraction, too much screen time, increased anxiety, obsession, loss in the ability to concentrate, contemplate, and reflect, and skill erosion. He does conclude his article by pointing out all the good aspects of technology.

Clearly, an either/or answer does not fit here. There seems to be more of a both/and response. Technology has made life easier in some ways. A lot of positive changes to life have occurred. Yet, we must use caution as well. Safeguards must be in place so that technology does not destroy the life which it was created to enhance.

How has technology changed in your lifetime? What impact does technology have on you today? Where do you think technology may go in the future? Do you have safeguards in place to mediate the potential issues which technology presents?  

What Matters

In the recent weeks, I have had some close friends who have had major health issues. One friend had a stroke and is slowly recovering after weeks of therapy. Another one of my friends was found laying on the floor of her home and will probably not survive the week. I have also noticed the deaths of celebrities whom I grew up watching on television and in the movies. Today would have been when we celebrated my father’s birthday, but he died four years ago. All this has caused me to pause and consider what truly matters in life.

As I have paused to ponder this, I am acutely aware of something which my parents would often say and tried hard to show is not material aspects of life, nor the recognition which one might receive, that truly matters. What matters are the lives that intersect with your own which gives meaning and purpose to your life. While this is not something often communicated in media or through other voices, I think that is the only truth which stands the test of time.

All of us know that our possessions exist for a temporary time in our world. Some of them will outlast us but most of them will be long forgotten after a couple of years. My observation is that the one aspect of life that never fades and impacts generations after us is the way that we are changed by the lives of those we meet.

I am sure that most of you can come up with a list of individuals who were a part of the lives of your parents and led them to raise you in a certain way. Each of us could create another list of lives who have intersected with our own and influenced our thoughts, our attitudes, and the way we live. These individuals and their influence upon us and those who we raise and guide are what truly matter.

Small Town Life

All the formative years of life which I can remember were lived in a rural town in Iowa. My parents had returned to their hometown when I was barely over a year old. This would be my home until I graduated from high school. As much as I craved to leave this small town, I now realize how much of a benefit I received growing up there. The list of benefits is so long that I have decided to share over a period of posts what life was like growing up in a small town.

The first benefit which has become clear to me is the people who were in my life. You may have heard it said that when you are raised in a small town you have more parents than the adults who live in the same house as you. I can say that was true for me. Not one place in the town existed where some adult was unaware of what you were doing. The challenge of this reality is that the adults talked to one another. This meant that often my mother would know what I had been up to before I even made it back home. While this can be frustrating at times, it was a great joy when you needed help.

I recall a time when I was twelve years and was grateful that an adult was there to help me out. It happened to be the 25th wedding anniversary of my parents. I had accidentally left my camera at our lunch location and so rode my bicycle back to the place to retrieve my camera. Our house was located along the same street where the K-12 school building stood. The street was a wide street which was good since there often was one of the school buses parked along the street in front of the school. This was the case on this particular weekend. As I was riding my bicycle back home, I had my head down because I was thinking about the responsibilities which my sisters had given to me during the open house that afternoon. Generally, this would not be a problem since I knew the street so well and knew that drivers in my town would always drive around me if they happened to cross my path. After having thought through my responsibilities, I raised my head to realize that I was feet from the back end of a school bus. I could not stop in time and I hit the bus. The front tire of my 10-speed bicycle wedged between the bottom part of the school bus bumper and the street. Getting over the initial shock, I figured I would free my bicycle and complete my journey back home. I did not realize that when I hit the bus, my head must have hit the back door of the bus and I had two deep cuts on the top of my head. My body reacted to this trauma so that after freeing my bicycle from the bus bumper, I tipped over and could not move; I was in shock. Thinking that I was now paralyzed, I started screaming for help. A woman who lived across the street from the school heard my pleas for help and came running over. Since everyone knew each other in my small town, she knew who I was and how to contact my family. She helped me on to my feet and I then saw the pool of blood which had flowed from the two cuts. Slowly she walked me to her house and called my parents. Family members came down and at once took me to the hospital where I received many stitches before returning home and making a very brief stop at the open house to assure my mother that I was alright. The help of an adult to a child in need in our small town was greatly appreciated.

I could tell story after story about how people provided all forms of aid for me physically throughout my growing years. I could even tell stories about times when I wish people were not so willing to help my parents watch over me. But I want to share instead how living in this town with the others shaped who I am today. I am convinced that the people who surrounded me influenced some fundamental aspects of my personality. These aspects are both positive and negative. I learned how to watch out for other people. As I shared above, people were always willing to provide assistance to anyone who was in need. When a major fire harmed the downtown area of my town, including a business owned by my aunt, people came to help in any way they could; from the volunteer firefighters from our town and three other towns, to the people who came to help clean soot and ash from the items in the business.

I am a person who gets involved in my community and organizations in which I am a member. I believe that I learned this in our small town. Whether an event at the school or a special celebration for the town, volunteers were in plenty. It truly took everyone’s involvement to make something happen. The people whom I lived with showed me the importance of commitments, doing your part, and having pride in your efforts.

The people of my hometown showed me what it means to be connected. Today I always look for the ways in which I can, and am, connected with others. We all shared so much of our lives with one another that our commonalities were clear. Yes there were differences but these were a lot fewer than our similarities. When a person realizes this truth, then instead of having division you can celebrate the uniqueness of every person while at the same time celebrate what it means to be connected.

I am sure as I continue to share posts about growing up in my small town, you will see even more ways in which the people of my hometown shaped me. I want to thank those people who were a part of molding me into the person who I am today.

Keep watching for future posts about growing up in a small Iowa town and feel free to share your experiences.

A New Step

Life is an amazing journey. One of the aspects of life that always keeps it interesting is that you are never 100% sure where the journey is going to lead you. This has been true for me as I am sure it has been for you. In the last months, I have taken a brand-new step on my journey but to understand this step better I should probably give you some background.

I entered this world in the state Texas. But when I was about a year old, my parents decided to pack my two older sisters and myself up in their car and return to their home state of Iowa. I spent all my formative years in the same small town in northwest Iowa. After graduating from high school, I moved to the “big city” of Sioux City to attend college. During that year, I had a situation which cause me to get a little freaked out and that triggered a transfer of colleges at the end of the year. I was closer to home in Storm Lake. Following the closing of my college career, I accepted a management position with Target and was headed to Mason City, IA. For the first twenty-four years of my life, I mainly lived in Iowa.

Target transferred me to Lincoln, NE, so I have my first experience of living outside of Iowa which I can remember. l lived in Lincoln for the next three years during which I got married, had my first son, and changed jobs. While living in Lincoln, I decided to go back to school so that I could change careers. My family and I moved which meant we left Nebraska and returned to Iowa, this time to Dubuque. I received my Master’s degree after three years and time for another move. As fate would have it, this move landed me back in Nebraska but this time in the central part of the state. Nebraska was home for another three years before another move would take me to central Iowa but this time to the south. There I would stay for over fourteen years. I then decided to make some significant changes in life which included leaving my current career and location. But, I did not leave Iowa. This time I moved to eastern Iowa where I would stay until recently.

This brings you up to what this blog post is entitled, “A New Step.” The new step actually has led me to return to the place where I was born – Texas. With my new husband, I moved to Fort Worth so that he could accept a new position at one of the educational institutions. This new step has been filled with some trepidation, some worry, but also a feeling of a new adventure. I am learning a whole new part of the country. I have a new city to explore. I also have an opportunity to redefine myself and my life goals.

Over the next couple of days and weeks, I will be posting about this new step and the new