Making Friends

When a person starts kindergarten, one of the pieces of advice that a parent usually gives is to try to make a friend the first day. For some children this is an easy task, especially if they are social and outgoing by nature. Others tend to struggle with living out this piece of advice because they are shy and more introverted. Whichever the case might be, most children seem to be able to make at least one friend by the end of their first week. Aiding this task is the reality that there is a captive group of children in one room with the same piece of advice and dealing with the same challenges. They have some automatic commonalities.

Moving to a new community usually places a person into a similar situation as the first day of school. The person is in a new environment and is encountering people who are not familiar. Making new friends is easier if certain conditions create natural connections. An example would include having children who attend the same school and are part of a school group together. Parents who go to support their children in an extracurricular activity often engage in conversations at the various events so a bond begins to form and friendships develop.

Another example would be if the person joins a community group or faith community. Attending meetings, fundraisers, and activities provide a natural opportunity for relationships to form. In this case there is some shared interest which brings people together. Already having an interest in common with another person makes conversation easier. Sharing of personal information and stories becomes natural. Friends are found.

However, if you are an adult, do not have school-aged children or an opportunity to join a local group, making friends becomes much more difficult. This is something which my husband and I have experienced since our move at the beginning of the year. We have begun forming relationships with a few of our neighbors but schedules and commitments do not always allow for time to interact in more than just friendly greetings. Previously we were part of an awesome faith community which allowed us to establish many friendships. My husband also had been actively involved in a YMCA swim program as a coach, so he had some pre-established friendships before I moved to join him. To date, we have not been able to find a faith community which connects with our spiritual needs. Nor have we found a community group in which we have shared interests.

I share all this because I have come to realize that even for a more extroverted person, making friends is not always the easiest. As we prepare to move from our rental home to own our home, my hope is that we will be able to find connections in our new neighborhood that will assist us in developing meaningful and lasting friendships like the ones we still have back in Iowa.

My Bucket

Some years ago there was a movie entitled, The Bucket List. This movie had a cast with a lot of well-known actors in it. The two main parts were played by Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. These two individuals became an unlikely duo who were facing the reality of mortality. Each had been diagnosed with cancer and were hospitalized. One day they walk out of the cancer ward and begin a road trip to accomplish the to-do’s which each wanted checked off before they died. This movie launched a trend of people creating their own bucket lists and striving to complete them.

A few weeks ago, I started to think about what would be on my bucket list. Over the last couple of weeks I have been attempting to create this list but have been unsuccessful. I had intended to have a list that I could then share in one of my blog posts. Each time I sat down to try to write my bucket list, I just stared at the screen of my computer. After sitting and looking at the computer screen but unable to type anything, I started to wonder why this was such a difficult task for me.

One reason which some of you might attribute to my difficult of creating the list is that I struggle with the concept of my mortality. This reason definitely does not fit my situation. In order to not cause panic among friends and family who may read this post, I am not racing towards my own death or doing anything to hasten it. No, I am greatly enjoying my life. I have a husband who I love and who loves me deeply. I have very special friends in my life. I have wonderful sons. My life is one of relative comfort. The opportunity to launch steps toward fulfilling a dream has presented itself, and I am enjoying the new adventures. I clearly am enjoying life. However, I also do not fear death in any way. My faith has given me assurances that this life is not all there is and that what will be after my transition from this life is something that will be beyond wonderful. My difficulty in creating a bucket list has nothing to do with a fear or denial of my own mortality.

Another reason which could be the cause of my writer’s block in list creating might be that I have already accomplished everything I would ever care to accomplish in life. Again, this is not the answer. I love to travel and there are many more places in this beautiful world which God has created than I have ever had the opportunity to see. I still have experiences which I desire such as seeing my sons marry, the possibility of having grandchildren, and completing (and selling) my first book. There are books I want to read, movies I want to see, stage performances I wish to enjoy. Life holds so much I have yet to live. The bucket list issue is not due to an exhausted amount of items to be placed upon it.

After some time of pondering why I continue to grapple with the creation of my personalized bucket list, I began to have some insight. While I could create a list, the list would be so long that I would not be able to determine where to end it nor do I think I could come close to completing it. I truly love living life and experiencing all of it with each opportunity which presents itself. Instead of creating a bucket list that I then feel I must accomplish to consider myself successful, I will live each day that the Lord gives me to the fullest I can. I will travel when I am able. I will experience life with my sons, my husband, and my friends. My book will be finished when it is time and maybe I will be lucky enough to sell it. I will go to movies, see performances, attend festivals, and read books as time and money allows. My bucket list will be fulfilled in whatever way it happens and I will die a happy man.

Go Hawks!

A battle for bragging rights within the state takes place tomorrow afternoon. The time for the Iowa Hawkeyes and Iowa State Cyclones to meet on the grid iron is less than twenty-four hours away. Having spent a large portion of my life in the state of Iowa, I have been actively engaged in this rivalry for many years. I look forward to this Saturday each year and have enjoyed the years when I have actually been in the stadium to watch the game. This is one afternoon when the state is clearly divided.

I am a fan of the Iowa Hawkeyes. I actually became a fan when I was in grade school. Probably the main reason I am a Hawkeye fan is that one of my friends and class rivals was a Cyclone fan. I grew up watching the Hawkeyes play football on television. Ames was closer to my hometown than Iowa City but that did not matter. I dreamed of going to Kinnick Stadium and watching them play. While in high school, I actually did get to experience that dream. Since my band director was a graduate of the University of Iowa, our band was invited to participate in an event during one of the games. Not only did I get to watch the Hawkeyes play football in the stadium but I also was able to march on the field with other high school bands and the University’s marching band.

I would not be given an opportunity to return to Kinnick Stadium for another football game until almost twenty years later. After having graduated from college, spending time in Nebraska, returning to the state for my Master’s degree, going back to Nebraska, and then moving to central Iowa, I was able to obtain two tickets for my wife and I to go watch the Hawkeyes beat Wisconsin. Then it would be a few years later before I obtained season tickets for Hawkeye football games. I loved the atmosphere of game day. There is nothing quite like being in the stadium with all the energy and traditions.

Now living in Texas, I no longer have the opportunity to watch the Hawkeyes live. Instead, my husband and I go to a local bar where a group of Hawkeye fans and alumni gather to cheer on the Hawks each game day. We will head there tomorrow and cheer for another Hawkeye victory. The group is a lot of fun. One of the members even brings a sound system so he can play music by the Iowa Hawkeye Marching Band which is usually played in the stadium. Each touchdown is followed by the playing of the fight song as we clap and sing along just like what is happening at the live game. On special games, one of the members makes banana pudding which tastes great and is the color of one of the team’s colors.

Before this game and after this game, I will cheer for the Iowa State Cyclones. I truly do wish they have a successful season. However, on this Saturday, my only desire is that the Hawkeyes win and the Cyclones lose. I leave you with a few lines which I hope we sing a lot tomorrow:

The word is “Fight! Fight! Fight! for IOWA, “

Let every loyal Iowan sing;

The word is “Fight! Fight! Fight! for IOWA, “

Until the walls and rafters ring (rah! rah!)

Come on and cheer, cheer, cheer for IOWA,

Come on and cheer until you hear the final gun.

The word is “Fight! Fight! Fight! for IOWA, “

Until the game is won.

GO HAWKS!!!

Battery Recharge

As we are approaching a holiday weekend, I began thinking about how people re-energize themselves. I have discovered that each person is unique regarding how they approach refilling their life batteries. The one thing which we all have in common is the need to recharge. We were not created to go at full speed seven days a week. While this has not prevented some individuals from attempting this rate of activity, I am not aware of anyone who has been successful at achieving this goal.

My quest for recharging my life batteries has led me to discover these realities:

  • The method of recharging has changed over time.
  • I require various combinations of methods most of the time.
  • I like to combine alone time and time spent with others.
  • I enjoy quiet times and stimulating times.
  • I regularly need some form of physical activity but also need time to be at rest.

As you can see, there is no one set way for me to recharge. The way in which I accomplish this necessary task is dependent on my current mood, what I have been engaged in recently, and what might be available at the time. The issue is not what is necessary for a person to recharge; the issue is whether a person takes the time to recharge or not.

A recharging must occur on three different levels. The first level is a physical recharging. An individual must pay attention to the body to determine when the body is in need of rest, rejuvenation, and gaining of strength. Our bodies are like a machine that will wear out if we attempt to push it too hard for too long.

The second level of recharging is a mental recharging. Like the muscles and organs of our bodies, our psyche must be given the opportunity to unwind and release. This may require watching a television show which has a lower demand on our mental skills. Some individuals have found that coloring a picture provides that opportunity to let their thoughts go into a lower gear. For me, working on a jigsaw puzzle is a great way to mentally recharge.

The third level of recharging is spiritually recharging. Our spirits need to be allowed to recapture energy. I am one who uses time outdoors to do this most often. Walking is my favorite spiritual recharge method. Seeing creation, especially on a sunny day or along a body of water, reminds me that I am part of something much larger. The beauty fills my spirit with joy and energy.

What are your methods for recharging your life batteries? Are you doing a good job of making sure this happens regularly? How might you improve in this area?

Binding Ties

When I was in elementary school, we would get to watch a couple of television shows in our classroom each week. One of the shows was the Electric Company. The other show was the Big Blue Marble. The latter show would feature stories about kids from different parts of the world. The producers intended to communicate that our world is not really as big as it may seem and that by getting to know people from other parts of the world, we would build a better society together. There was even a pen-pal program (writing actual letters to another person for those who do not understand this concept) that would encourage an ongoing connection and conversation.

I share this memory from the past because I have been thinking about the connectedness of people. It is not surprising that in the age of the internet and social media, the ability to connect with others is even greater. Additionally, technology allows this connectedness to be almost instantaneous. Yet with the tools provided to us, we still seem to struggle with connecting to others.

I am a fairly outgoing person. I engage in conversations with a variety of people in a variety of settings without much difficulty most of the time. Not everyone is comfortable in social settings or in engaging in conversation with individuals whom they have not met. The challenge in being able to have a dialogue with another person is finding that connection. Sometimes the setting provides a clear connecting point such as attending a wedding, being at a job-related gathering, or being at a school event. Other times it may be harder to identify the commonalities which you might have with another person.

The truth that was presented on the television show, Big Blue Marble, is that we have more in common with one another than we ever realize. It is important to find that connection with one another. The reality is that our actions impact one another. This has become increasingly clear in regard to how we treat creation. Even greater are the acts of violence which continually shake our lives. When we acknowledge that we have more in common than differences, then we begin to see each other as valued. If we see the value in another, we are less willing to take a negative action toward that person.

We are connected in ways we have yet to discover. Our commonality far exceeds anything which would divide us. All of us live together on this big blue marble called earth. It is time we lifted up our connectedness.

#Hashtags

I am probably going to show my age with this post but it is something that has been on my mind for a while. Whatever brought on the idea that using hashtags in almost all communication was a good idea. I confess, I just do not get it. Yes, I know that it became prominent with the introduction of Twitter but it now seems to appear everywhere.

Remember long ago when this symbol – # – meant number. When I was taking typing (again a sign of my age) in high school, we would only use that symbol above the numeral 3 on the keyboard if we were trying to state a number was following. This was definitely not a symbol that I used often. If you were writing something professional, it was seldom ever used at all. Today the hashtag appears in advertisements, in all types of social media posts, and even on printed materials.

I was reading someone’s post on Facebook the other day, and they had fourteen hash tags with different words and phrases following at the end of their post. This clearly seemed like overkill from my perspective. As I looked at all those, it made me think that they were like the small print which is at the bottom of the page of a printed item. Just like I (and I think others) skip over that small print, I skipped right over all the hash tagged phrases at the end of the post.

Maybe my issue with the hashtag trend is that I struggle to come up with the right hashtags for anything I post. I see creative and somewhat brilliant ones when I take the time to actually look at them. Some of them even make me laugh. Yet every time I try to add one to my post it seems to lack anything which would generate interest in my eyes.

Someone who reads this blog post will probably have a very good explanation for why we have become a hashtagged crazy generation. A person much younger than myself will clearly not understand why I would even have an issue with this behavior. That younger person can probably give a very in depth answer for the prominence of hashtags. I am more than ready to hear it. For now, do not expect me to join this trend any time soon.

Parker County Peach Festival & More

This weekend was a fun weekend to enjoy the outdoors. It had finally cooled down to the low 90s with less humidity. Outside is where we headed for both days.

Saturday’s highlight was our trip to Weatherford, TX for the 35th Annual Parker County Peach Festival. I enjoy living in a part of the country where there is a peach harvest and it is celebrated with a festival. Since it was our first time attending this festival, we were not exactly sure what to expect. I had read an article in the Fort Worth Star-Telegram telling about some highlights but until you are there you really do not have a clear understanding.

The festival takes place in downtown Weatherford, a community of over 30,000 people and the county seat of Parker County. The streets around the courthouse square are lined on both sides with booths. Some larger streets have booths also running down the middle. Most of the vendors are selling either food or handmade art and crafts. You will find some vendors selling bags of peaches and/or food items with peaches in them. If you cannot find peaches at the actual festival there is a farmer’s market building located two blocks south of the square and peaches are available there. Located at a couple of places within the festival grounds are stages where local talent perform. After a couple of hours in the heat and a large crowd, it was time to head back home.

Sunday afternoon provided an opportunity to take the dogs on a car ride and a bit of a hike. We chose to head down to the Clearfork area of Fort Worth, which is located south of downtown and near the campus of TCU. There is a trailhead located in the area for the Trinity Trail which runs along the Trinity River throughout Fort Worth. We had been at this location for a farmer’s market shortly after we relocated to Fort Worth. There are biking and walking trails which make up the Trinity Trail. We took the dogs, bags, and some water along and walked about a mile down the trail before stopping to give the dogs some water in the shade. After the break, we followed the trail back to the trailhead where we gave more water to the dogs before getting in the car. It was clear that the dogs were more exhausted at the end of our walk than either of us.

Once the car had time to cool down and the dogs had their fill of water, we headed out to see some neighborhoods in the area. Looking at the houses we determined that when it comes time to buy our home, this is one of the areas which had potential. We headed home and finished the evening off with some relaxation in the nice air conditioning.

If you would like to know more about the Parker County Peach Festival or the Trinity Trail in Fort Worth, feel free to send me a message.

Faithful Companion

I am not sure what it is but there is always a soft spot in my heart for a dog. I have been fortunate to have a number of dogs in my life. My first dog was a gift from one of my uncles and since then I have had some wonderful dogs with which to share life. Currently we have two dogs in our home and I adore both of them. Some of my readers may recall that at the end of May we said goodbye to one of our dogs, Herky, but a couple of weeks later we welcomed Belle into our home. I think our dogs make our home complete.

My first statement in this post is not truly accurate. I do know what it is about a dog which causes me to fall in love with him/her. Actually, quite a few reasons that come to my mind. I fall in love with a dog because the dog has already fallen in love with me. One of the truths regarding these animals is that unless they have suffered abuse, a dog is the most loving creature which I know. This love is unconditional. Only if they have been mistreated, or they have been trained differently does this love not extend to you at first contact.

If unconditional love is not a good enough reason, then unwavering faithfulness is a very good one. A dog’s loyalty remains strong. I am sure that you have seen the pictures of a dog laying in front of the casket of a fallen soldier or at the headstone of their owner. This commitment is unmatched in most relationships. There exists a bond between dog and owner which never seems to fade or is broken.

These characteristics endear dogs to me. Yet, I would be remiss if I did not mention one more and that is companionship. Wherever I am, that is where my dog(s) wishes to be. I cannot be out of a room for more than five minutes before one or both dogs come searching for me. When I am away from the house, the excitement and joy with which I am greeted when I return is abounding. As much as I am an important companion in their lives, they are a vital companion in my life.

I love dogs! Here I give you just a brief glimpse of why. But if you have been fortunate enough to have a dog in your life, you know these and the many more that are in my head. So, thank you to all the dogs who have made a difference in my life…

Terrington, Buddy, Brandi, Hayden, Herky, Ellie, Leroy, and Belle….. not to mention, neighbor dogs Paulie and Wiggles…. or my niece puppy, Jewel…. or my grandpuppies, Ryder and Koda.  

Routine

I have a confession to make….

I have a love/hate relationship with routine. I will try my best to explain.

I love routine for some reasons which are important to me. Routine provides for me a break in life. Following routines for different parts of my life allow me to not have to think a lot. This is extremely important in the morning. You see, I am not much of a morning person. I take a while to wake up and to be willing to acknowledge there is a world in which I must function. Having a routine for my morning allows me to function a low level of alertness. I am able to know exactly what comes next, so I can take a break from planning, making decisions, and really putting a lot of thought into life. Some would say that I even get a bit cranky when life events interrupt my morning routine.

Another reason that I am in love with routine is because I gain a sense of accomplishment. I am a “check off the task” type of person. I like to be able to see something is completed and I physically check it off on my electronic task list. While the tasks in my routine are usually not on that list, I still am very aware of what they are and as I manage through the routine I mentally check off the to-do’s. It reminds me of my college days when I took a course on BASIC programming (for younger readers, you might want to look up this ancient computer programming code system). If written correctly, the program would go through the steps necessary to carry out the goal given. This would be a continuous loop until you placed a STOP command. My routines operate the same way.

My dilemma is that as much as I like routine, I hate it at the same time. My hatred for routines comes from another part of my personality. I am an individual who likes adventure and trying new experiences (alright maybe not some foods). I want to experience the new. Routine is anti-new. I can easily become bored with routine. I want to change things up. An endless loop of routine can frustrate me and long for something different.

There, I have confessed it. I love routine while at the same time I hate routine.

How do you feel about routine?

A Weekend of Fun

What an incredible weekend. We had the joy of hosting some friends from Iowa this weekend. Amy and Brian arrived on Saturday afternoon. I am not sure who was more eagerly anticipating their arrival, my husband or myself. We had spent our morning doing lawn work and last aspects of cleaning. Partly because it needed to be done and partly to keep our eyes off the clock. The decision to wait on cleaning the floors was due to our new fur baby, Belle, shedding white hair as quickly as we can clean it up.

After their arrival, we spent the afternoon catching up. They gave us an update on their family while we shared about our move and discoveries in our new city. We also were able to discuss the activities of St Stephen’s Lutheran Church which is how we had come to meet each other. A very relaxing time for sure.

Evening arrived and it was time to find something to eat. We decided to go and enjoy Posado’s Cafe which is one of our favorites when we are hungry for Mexican food. Our trips to this restaurant only occur on weekend nights because we have our own favorite server, Kerry. The staff is starting to realize that we will only sit in Kerry’s section. She did not disappoint us with her service once again. Amy and Brian seemed to like the food which we do as well.

Posado’s Cafe

Once our stomachs were full, we journeyed to downtown Fort Worth. My husband and I enjoy spending time downtown looking through the shops and sitting at the fountains in Sundance Square. The buildings of downtown are all outlined in colored lights which change colors every few seconds. If there is a holiday coming soon, the colors often reflect that holiday (i.e., red, pink, and white around Valentine’s Day). The clock face on the building behind the stage along one side of the square also changes based on the holiday and/or season. This night it had a summer beach theme. So after showing our friends some of our favorite shops, we sat by the fountains and enjoyed the atmosphere and busy life of Downtown Fort Worth. Then we headed home to relax a little before going to bed.

Sundance Square – Downtown Ft Worth

Sunday activities began with a wonderful brunch fixed by my husband. After brunch, we hurried to clean up and headed to the Historic Fort Worth Stockyards. We arrived in time to watch them drive the long horn steers down the street. Once the steers had gone by, we then walked into the stockyards to witness a gunslinger shoot out (all staged). Then we checked out some shops, Brian got some beef jerky, and we picked up some excellent seasoning for dips. A walk to see Billy Bob’s took a slight detour so Brian could go through the military museum which interests him since he is one of our nation’s brave veterans.

Cattle Drive at the Historic Fort Worth Stockyards

Before leaving the Stockyards, we decided to take our friends to a bar which we had newly discovered on one of our recent visits, Booger Red’s Saloon. This bar is filled with character. Behind the bar there is the butt part of a buffalo coming out of the mirror in honor of their Buffalo Butt Beer. The ceiling fans are operated by a series of belts attached to a motor on one wall. You can choose to sit on a bar stool or a saddle as you enjoy your drinks at the bar. Amy was even brave enough to climb on one of the saddles as we sat at the bar.

Booger Red’s Saloon – Image courtesy of H3 Ranch.com

From the Stockyards, we continued back to downtown Fort Worth where we went to the Water Gardens on the south side of the convention center. This park has three different water features and a “Mountain.” The intention when it was built was to provide an oasis in the midst of a very busy urban area. A meditation pool provides a calm pool of water with water running down the terraced walls around it. The aeration pool has spray fountains which create both a visual and sound experience. The largest of the pools in the Water Gardens has water which cascades 38 feet down terraced walls to a pool at the lowest point. You can walk down a series of arranged stone slabs to the pool and then on large stone slabs around the pool. It is an amazing experience.

Fort Worth Water Gardens – Image courtesy of tr.robinson

After returning home for some relaxation, it was time to head out to another of our favorite restaurants, B J’s Restaurant and Brewhouse. The menu is large and the food is always very good. Then back home to watch a movie and relax

A weekend filled with fun, laughter, and good company had come to a close. We wished our friends good bye this morning and look forward to their promised return visit.