My Bucket

Some years ago there was a movie entitled, The Bucket List. This movie had a cast with a lot of well-known actors in it. The two main parts were played by Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. These two individuals became an unlikely duo who were facing the reality of mortality. Each had been diagnosed with cancer and were hospitalized. One day they walk out of the cancer ward and begin a road trip to accomplish the to-do’s which each wanted checked off before they died. This movie launched a trend of people creating their own bucket lists and striving to complete them.

A few weeks ago, I started to think about what would be on my bucket list. Over the last couple of weeks I have been attempting to create this list but have been unsuccessful. I had intended to have a list that I could then share in one of my blog posts. Each time I sat down to try to write my bucket list, I just stared at the screen of my computer. After sitting and looking at the computer screen but unable to type anything, I started to wonder why this was such a difficult task for me.

One reason which some of you might attribute to my difficult of creating the list is that I struggle with the concept of my mortality. This reason definitely does not fit my situation. In order to not cause panic among friends and family who may read this post, I am not racing towards my own death or doing anything to hasten it. No, I am greatly enjoying my life. I have a husband who I love and who loves me deeply. I have very special friends in my life. I have wonderful sons. My life is one of relative comfort. The opportunity to launch steps toward fulfilling a dream has presented itself, and I am enjoying the new adventures. I clearly am enjoying life. However, I also do not fear death in any way. My faith has given me assurances that this life is not all there is and that what will be after my transition from this life is something that will be beyond wonderful. My difficulty in creating a bucket list has nothing to do with a fear or denial of my own mortality.

Another reason which could be the cause of my writer’s block in list creating might be that I have already accomplished everything I would ever care to accomplish in life. Again, this is not the answer. I love to travel and there are many more places in this beautiful world which God has created than I have ever had the opportunity to see. I still have experiences which I desire such as seeing my sons marry, the possibility of having grandchildren, and completing (and selling) my first book. There are books I want to read, movies I want to see, stage performances I wish to enjoy. Life holds so much I have yet to live. The bucket list issue is not due to an exhausted amount of items to be placed upon it.

After some time of pondering why I continue to grapple with the creation of my personalized bucket list, I began to have some insight. While I could create a list, the list would be so long that I would not be able to determine where to end it nor do I think I could come close to completing it. I truly love living life and experiencing all of it with each opportunity which presents itself. Instead of creating a bucket list that I then feel I must accomplish to consider myself successful, I will live each day that the Lord gives me to the fullest I can. I will travel when I am able. I will experience life with my sons, my husband, and my friends. My book will be finished when it is time and maybe I will be lucky enough to sell it. I will go to movies, see performances, attend festivals, and read books as time and money allows. My bucket list will be fulfilled in whatever way it happens and I will die a happy man.