Relationships Needed

In my last post, I wrote about realizing what matters in life. I have decided to expand on that theme in today’s post. If you remember, I pointed out that what matters are the lives which intersect with our own. Each of these intersections have a different level of depth to them. Some are more superficial and may become solely acquaintances or one-time encounters. Others become actual relationships.

As I consider the assorted places I have lived, the jobs which I have had, and organizations I have joined, I can name at least one relationship from each of these which I still maintain today. In each of these different groups, I actually have more than one continuing relationship. Relationships have always been important to me. I need to be connected to others and I spend a lot of time developing a variety of relationships. Each relationship carries with it memories, lessons, and lasting impacts.

Three basic factors for developing and maintaining a relationship exist. The first and probably most important, is communication. A person needs to be in regular communication with another if they are going to create and grow a relationship. When communication ends, then the relationship will be weakened and sooner or later will end as well. This communication needs to be more than superficial after the first weeks of the relationship. Going deeper in the communication highlights the second factor.

The second basic factor of a healthy relationship is being vulnerable. How vulnerable depends on the nature of the relationship and the length of time. Trust must be established for a vulnerability to exist. This trust builds over time but also builds when a person shares something meaningful and experiences a positive reaction by the other individual. As trust increases and the openness of sharing increases then the relationship will be stronger.

The third basic factor is making an effort. The first two components are connected to this third. Relationships do not magically happen. They require taking the time and work to establish and maintain them. I view relationships as being alive. As a plant or animal requires effort to grow and maintain, a relationship requires the same. If a plant or animal is neglected, it will die. The same is true with a relationship.

Having relationships can be exceedingly rewarding in a person’s life. We were created with the innate desire to be in relationship. I encourage all of you to develop and maintain healthy relationships in your lives so that you can be healthy and complete.